Friday Roundup (of News & Thoughts & Such) - April 1st

Welcome to the Friday Roundup (of News and Thoughts and Such) which, at some number of consecutive weeks, is channel.WAV’s longest running and most prestigious column, in which I, Brandon Slone, the (insert commentary type of your choosing.. David Sedaris? Do y’all like Davis Sedaris?) talk about some of the week’s biggest stories that we didn’t cover in long form this week. Let’s dive into this week’s news. This might be a long one.

1. The Grammys are happening

I wish they weren’t. In a sea of terrible award shows, the Grammys stand out as the worst. I probably already said this. I don’t know. I just hate the Grammys so very much. They are somehow even worse than the Oscars. It’s impressive. Go look at our predictions or some shit.

2. Doja Cat quits music or maybe she didn’t but she says she did

About 17 seconds after our intrepid editor-in-chief hit the “publish” button on last Friday’s roundup, Doja Cat announced via Twitter that she was retiring from music. This gets a bit convoluted so I am going to do my best to summarize from various summaries I have found throughout the internet.

Okay so: Doja Cat was scheduled to play at a festival in Paraguay. The set was canceled due to flooding following a major storm. Fast forward to her performance at a different festival in Brazil last Thursday. The performance was apparently lackluster by her standards. I don’t know. Afterward, she logged onto Twitter to apologize for not putting on the best show but swore to perform better the following night. Are you still following? There’s a quiz later.

Some Paraguayan fans took umbrage with this, because she didn’t apologize for the canceled show in Paraguay which, again, involved a deadly storm. In response, she stated that she is “done” and that she “fucking quits.” She walked this back on Saturday, issuing an apology to fans and saying that she owes a lot of her happiness to fans.

After Florida radio station MIX 105.1 tweeted that “maybe” she isn’t retiring, she responded with “yes the fuck i am.” Mixed signals, this. It’s worth noting though that she is still scheduled to hit the road with The Weeknd as of the time I’m writing this, which is pretty early in the day for once. 

3. Brian Wilson lawsuit

In news that’s sure to make you keep scrolling, Marilyn Wilson-Rutherford, ex-wife of Beach Boys legend Brian Wilson, is suing him over royalties from a $50million deal with Universal Music. Rutherford-Wilson owns a 50% stake in royalties from songwriting credits for all songs written during their 14 year marriage (roughly 170 songs, including most of the ones you care about [Dane, link me gushing about Pet Sounds being the pinnacle of pop music]), per the terms of a 1981 divorce settlement.

4. Elton John announces final North American tour dates

Elton John has announced what he claims to be the final stops of the North American leg of his Farewell Yellow Brick Road tour, which he intends to be his final tour ever. The tour, which began in 2018, has faced delays due to COVID-19. On November 20, John will play his alleged final American show at Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles.

5. Taylor Swift to receive honorary degree

Taylor Swift will be receiving an honorary doctorate in Fine Arts from NYU, along with addressing the class of 2022. I’m not making a “22” joke. You’ve seen it. There’s merchandise. Pretty badass, anyway. 

6. Genesis plays final show

Genesis played their last show. That’s it. Phil Collins is retiring again. Do you remember when he was a character in one of the Grand Theft Auto games on PSP? Vice City Stories maybe? Like, he voices himself. I think you could play as him in the multiplayer. There were these kids I was friends with in 7th grade who had PSPs and they’d play that game in the mornings before school started. I always thought it seemed neat, but I didn’t have a PSP so I never played it. But Phil Collins was definitely in it.

7. ROXY MUSIC IS TOURING!!!!!! WHAT?????

In more news that I’m talking about just for me, Roxy Music is touring with St. Vincent. Roxy Music hasn’t toured North America in about 20 years. No Brian Eno. But Bryan Ferry is there! Can’t you let me be happy?

8. lol Eric Church

I want to make “this week’s dumbest story” into a recurring feature because sometimes, man… This type of story right here… this is what makes it all worthwhile. 4 days before being scheduled to play a sold out show in San Antonio, Eric Church sent out the following message to his fans, who are apparently called “The Church Choir” because this story needed to be funnier. I’m actually going to post this entire message: 

To the Church Choir, 

This Saturday, my family and I are going to stand together to cheer on the Tar Heels as the team has made it to the Final Four.

As a lifelong Carolina basketball fan, I’ve watched Carolina and Duke battle over the years but to have them matchup in the Final Four for the first time in the history of the NCAA Tournament is any sports enthusiast’s dream.

This is also the most selfish thing I’ve ever asked the Choir to do: to give up your Saturday night plans with us so that I can have this moment with my family and sports community. However, it’s that same type of passion felt by the people who fill the seats at our concerts that makes us want to be part of a crowd at a game of this significance.

Woody Durham always said, “Go where you go and do what you do,” thanks for letting me go here and be with the Tar Heels. 

If I may sidetrack for a moment… Hunter S. Thompson would famously painstakingly type out the entirety of The Great Gatsby, A Farewell to Arms, and other books he thought were great, just so he would know what it felt like to type a masterpiece. Well, I, Brandon L. Slone, just typed out the entirety of that message from Eric Church, just because I wanted to know what it would feel like to have that sequence of words spring forth from my fingertips, like Athena from Zeus’ head. This is a masterpiece of contemporary American literature.

Ignoring for a moment that canceling a show 4 days ahead of time is a dick move for anyone who already paid for travel/lodging, even if you are refunding the ticket price in full, it’s just amazing. Look at it. He’s not saying “we are canceling the show. Sorry ‘bout that.” His phrasing indicates that he is effectively asking permission to go to this game, but in a way that you aren’t allowed to say no to it. Like, I dig the honesty and the candor but… 4 days in advance? Dick move, Eric. 

What’s channel.WAV listening to this week?

Slone: My listening has been a bit all over the place. I guess Foo Fighters is the easy answer, but there’s also a hefty amount of Modest Mouse, Flaming Lips, and ROXY FUCKING MUSIC in the rotation right now. Did you know Roxy Music is touring?????????????????????????

Ritter: Denzel Curry gets better with each project, and last week’s awesomely-titled Melt My Eyez, See Your Future is his best yet.

Botts: It’s raining. Let this be the next song you play on a rainy day. (“Follow Me Around” by Radiohead)

On a more serious note -- In the actual biggest music news this week, Foo Fighters drummer Taylor Hawkins died last Friday night, just before the band was scheduled to perform at a festival in Bogota, Colombia. In light of Hawkins’ death, Foo Fighters announced that they would be canceling all remaining dates for their current tour. 

Hawkins was arguably the face of the band alongside Dave Grohl, and it is very hard to imagine what the future will look like for them going forward. He was, by all accounts, a lovely fellow, and tributes have poured in from fans and fellow artists, including Paul McCartney, Stevie Nicks, Elton John, and Miley Cyrus. His importance and influence as one of the last true icons of rock music cannot be overstated. Taylor Hawkins was 50 years old.

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We're going to use this section this week to honor Taylor -- post your favorite song featuring him, a favorite moment of his, favorite memory, etc. We'd love to hear!

- Slone