Hi. Brandon here. It’s time for another Staff Inspection. The following is the transcript from our group listen-along on October 24. It has been lightly edited for clarity, and to make me look better.
On beginnings and “Lavender Haze”...
Ritter: Alright to kick it off, how many times have we listened to the album? This is my third listen.
Botts: 0️⃣
Slone: I think this is 4?
Ritter: Aaron’s virgin ears are ready.
Botts: Oh boy, let’s do it, Taylor.
Ritter: It’s projected that the album is going to sell 1.2 million units, and I find that unbelievable until everyone tells me how many times they’ve streamed it.
Botts: A lot of people will buy a nostalgia record. Fitting for Christmas and satisfying the gift purchase for the cousin you know likes TSwift
Slone: I’m more in the position of “maybe this time when I listen to it, I’ll understand why everyone loves it so much.” I don’t think it’s bad or anything approaching bad. For a Taylor album, I’d call it middling.
Ritter: “Middling” is apt.
Botts: Lavender Haze was ok?
Ritter: I enjoy it, I think the first half of the album is good tbh. I can’t distinguish the songs in my memory, however. There’s nothing that sticks in my brain.
Slone: It’s kind of a blur. A lavender haze as it were.
On “Maroon”...
Botts: It feels like a prolonged where the mushrooms you took were only shiitake
Slone: Jesus Christ
On lead single “Anti-Hero”...
Slone: Middlingnights maybe lol. Okay I do dig this song tho. A lot. I forgot about the part where she compares others to “sexy babies” whatever tf that means.
Botts: Hollywood has a lotta plastic lemme tella ya
Ritter: This is the only song I can remember, clearly the single when they recorded the album haha
On “Snow On the Beach”...
Slone: “Snow On the Beach” is my jam
Ritter: We’re in the David Lynch era
Botts: Who is Janet?
Slone: Jackson
Botts: frfr? Wait is this a concept album?
Ritter: I do believe this is a concept album, but the concept is the same as any other TS album
Botts: Huh - interesting.
“You’re On Your Own, Kid”...
Ritter: This is the song that loses me, by the way
Slone: The hook if it can be called a hook is not very catchy
Botts: Not a fan of this intro
Slone: Are we listening to the main album or the ones with bonus tracks
Ritter: I only put the main album in there, the bonus tracks are too much. I don’t think they add anything.
Slone: Ok good. I’m not a fan of putting out bonus tracks for an album that JUST came out
On “Midnight Rain”... (things started to derail here)
Botts: November Rain > Midnight Rain
Slone: Taylor Swift never played a guitar solo on a casket
Botts: Shit I meant to say Purple Rain
Slone: You got a problem with November Rain? I’ll defend the good goddamn name of Guns N Roses
Botts: I don’t believe in comparing songs out of genre, somehow Prince seems more akin to Taylor than GnR
Ritter: Isn’t Axl Rose a nazi?
Slone: No, I think he’s fairly progressive in his politics, he’s just an asshole
Botts: That’ll do it
Ritter: My b, I’m thinking of the time he wrote a song with the n-word in it lol
On “Question…?” and regrets...?
Botts: This song makes me think of Dane laughing at me for making out at a bar once.
Ritter: Oh shit… Can’t unhear it.
On “Vigilante Shit”...
Ritter: “Vigilante Shit” sounds like a Reputation reject
Slone: This song sucks.
Ritter: I concur
Slone: Idk why the title needed Vigilante in it when it could just be called shit. Was that too mean?
Botts: Shit dawg
Ritter: Lmaooo
On “Bejeweled”...
Slone: This is such a jaunty little beat. It makes me smile.
On “Labyrinth”...
Ritter: This song is ok. I will give it to her. But at some point it has all started blending together.
Botts: It feels like the whole album is one long extended take
Slone: I get it now. I understand the concept.
Botts: I wanna hear the BSlime wisdom
Slone (BSlime?): You know how when it’s late at night you have a bunch of thoughts and then the next day you don’t remember literally any of it? It’s that but in album form.
Botts: Ah. Astute. And Agreed.
~Kelli interlude~
Kelli: This album sounds like someone writing lyrics actively trying to sound ~deep~ rather than just writing lyrics that resonate with people/the story. Some of the lyrics really give middle schooler on tumblr energy. Also I don’t like Lana.
Ritter: I too hate Lana, Kelli
~Back to our regularly scheduled programming~
On “Karma” and bad songs...
Slone: Ok, this fucking song
Ritter: I HATE THIS SONG
Botts: She lost me at Spider Boy. Now I know what I’m shouting at Tom Holland.
Ritter: “Karma is a cat” is the worst goddamn lyric just stop.
Slone: Karma is a list of various nouns. Karma is the rhyming dictionary / That I bought at HPB
Ritter: Lmao
On “Sweet Nothing”...
Ritter: Ok I don’t remember this song at all lol
Botts: I kinda like the somber aspect and melody to this one
Slone: Yeah I like it
Botts: My favorite off this album tbh
Ritter: I also really like this one
Slone: Taylor, you’re winning back the crowd!
Ritter: I don’t like this album I promise
On “Mastermind” and final thoughts...
Ritter: I think we’re running into the Drake issue, where people try so hard to make his music mean something but it’s all so surface level. Kelli is right. (Brandon’s note: Kelli would later describe herself as “plum chuffed” by this statement)
Ritter: Final thoughts on the album?
Botts: Solid 3/5. I like that one song but can’t remember the name
Slone: It’s fine. I don’t see myself ever listening to it beginning to end again, but I’ve got my tracks that I enjoy. Reputation tier.
Ritter: We’re inevitably rewarding mediocrity with 1.2 million sales. She can do much better. I’m not angry, just disappointed.
Slone: I think there’s a very good EP in there but it’s thrown off by filler. THe issue here is that if your album is only 13 tracks, you don’t have space for filler. I think I’m more positive on it than you guys are but I think we are pretty well all in agreement that this is her weakest material in a while.
Ritter: folklore and evermore were such highs for me, and until then I did not enjoy T Swift more than just a few songs. I feel like this is a hundred steps backward for me lol
Botts: I like it when considering BSlime’s theory but that’s it
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Well folks, that’s our review. How do you feel about Midnights? Were we too harsh? Let us know in the comments below!
- channel.WAV
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Thanks for yelling at us!