Friday Roundup (of News & Thoughts & Such) - September 2nd, 2022

Thoughts:

Brandon usually writes these things. My thoughts on his absence? I better be getting a damn good steak. Inside joke there, folks. ANYWAY:

On a typical day I’m usually thinking which sister from HAIM would have me as a husband. I believe I’d make a damn good one. Maybe Dane would argue my claim to the aforementioned statements. However, if they did divorce me, I know which local dotWAV attorney I’m seeking to represent me. 

The only good album Coldplay released turns 20. A Rush of Blood to the Head is arguably the best of what Coldplay has collectively released. After their 2008 single "Viva la Vida" and respectively titled album were released, everything has arguably been catered to dub-steppin’ hippies looking to enjoy their high out in the wild. However, A Rush of Blood to the Head and kind of X&Y were arguably ahead of their time.

Dane has messaged me multiple times about Frank Ocean releasing new music. Allegedly, someone on twitter leaked this information after talking to his uncle about it at a Lowe’s Hardware section. He said, “Yeah, it’s definitely coming.” Hearsay, dare I say so myself - which is why it is a thought and not news. Lindsey, if you’re reading this - it may be time to commit him…

I’m waiting on a single titled “TikTok killed old-age music stars.”

ANYWAY. Enough of my thoughts - let’s do a roundup.

News:

The good-

1. The VMAs happened this week:

Here is where you can see the full list of winners. Ah, to see Drake scorned…

2. The Monkees’ Mickey Dolenz is suing the FBI over a ‘secret dossier’ on the band:

J. Edgar Hoover considered the band subversive to the 1960 values we clearly espoused…

3. David Bowie is set to get a plaque on London Music’s Walk of Fame:

He once spoke to Dane and I in his afterlife. This marks the only time a truly BIG celebrity has directly spoken to me. The other time? Goldberg signing autographs at Camp Pendleton, California. He said, “Is it spelled A-r-o-n or E-r-i-n.” He was wrong on both accounts. ANYWAY… Bowie’s documentary Moonage Daydream may be coming to a theater near you.

Editor's note: I still have an iPhone note full of all the things Bowie said to us. Text me if you wanna read it or if you want us to analyze it.

4. Ke$ha is accusing Dr. Luke of stalling her defamation trial:

The two face a dueling pair of defamation trials against the other. Her lawsuit was filed from L.A. while his was filed from New York. He argues she used ‘private’ time to extort a better contract. She argues he knocked her out with a controlled substance and proceeded to… I won’t say. But the ‘good’ aspect to this news is that justice is coming closer to being served. I believe music moguls have been taking advantage of female musicians for ages and it’s about fucking time they face the actions of their hideous consequences. 

5. Taylor Swift announced a new album is coming:

It’ll be available in October. Until then, older aged male stars tremble fearing the wrath of justice Taylor is capable of inflicting. 

6. Kevin Bacon covers Beyonce’s “Heated” while wearing a necklace of popcorn:

It’s not too shabby.

7. Feist leaves the Arcade Fire tour after Win Butler allegations:

Probably a good call there. Feist WAS the opening act and is probably on the bigger and better things.

8. Kendrick Lamar’s new short film is out:

Heck of a watch. I mean - it is in the good column.

9. Britney Spears released a voice memo detailing her conservatorship: 

It’s damning to say the least. Good for her - she has a lot more living left to do. 

10. The Arctic Monkeys announce their first tour date in the U.S. in over four years:

Exciting!

The bad-

11. BROADWAY DRAMA! Is there such a thing? 

Lea Michelle has been addressing rumors of the following: not being able to read, creating a toxic work environment, and not truly supporting the Black Lives Matter movement. She addressed each rumor individually in a New York Times interview. You can read the full article for technically a dollar a week, but in case you don’t have a NYTimes account I’ll summarize. 1. She can read. 2. She holds herself to high expectations and expects the same of her coworkers. Kind of respect that. But on the other hand, let other’s work and work ethic speak for itself. 3. Lots of drama on this one. Performative allyship being the big thing here, and not letting coworkers have a seat at the table. Yikes. 

12. Kanye West’s life vision isn’t to be the greatest rapper: 

No, it’s to open Yeezy stores worldwide. After, as he puts it, “saving Gap and Adidas,” who can blame him? If you follow him on instagram - which I hear [Redacted] Sloane does - you probably heard of a recent job posting. This is old news but hey baby - if it bleeds it leads. Read more about it from an accredited journalism site as I am paraphrasing multiple articles here. But they all add up.

13. Mable John, Motown’s first major female star, is dead at 91. 

14. DJ KHALED has a bunch of top-talent (not including himself) on his new album GOD DID. 

Ye, Jay-Z (who apparently gives the best performance of his career), and Drake are all involved. 

The ugly-

15. R. Kelly faces more damning evidence: 

I’ll just leave it at that. 

16. A Georgia DA prosecuting Young Thug has submitted his lyrics to be used as evidence in his trial:

She is quoted as saying, “You do not get to commit crimes in my county, and then decide to brag on it.” Young Thug currently faces 56 counts of gang related incidents under Georgia’s RICO statute. 

17. Ozzy Osbourne revealed U.S. mass shootings motivated his move back to England:

Can we really blame him?

Such:

What is channel.WAV listening to?

Slone: On July 21, 2020, I sent Dane the following text:

‘I watched a video of The Killers doing This Charming Man, and I’ve decided that they should just rebrand as a Smiths Cover Band because they would be good at it and I wouldn’t have to deal with residual Morrissey guilt.’

And now! Click that link!

I like to think I’m responsible for this. 

I would be unreasonably hype for a Killer’s cover album of Smiths songs. I would go to every show on that tour. 

They even address the residual Morrissey guilt!!!!

Make everything I just said my blurb and call it a day.

Ritter: Hello again, I read a whole book in two hours the other day and retained about a third of it. Stevie Wonder is the only thing keeping me sane during my class readings. One day I'll write about how he's the single-greatest song-writer to ever live, possibly the greatest musician of all time... but that day is not today.

Botts:

Song: Better Together by Jack Johnson

I would quote this song to a HAIM sister. Especially the line, “It’s always better when we’re together, mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm…”

Theatrical Banger:When Patrick sings to Kat in 10 Things I Hate About You

God I love a 2000s rom-com. After seeing this number in an adapted Shakespearean play that doesn’t age well, who wouldn’t?

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5 comments, and Dane's wife Lindsey will do a guest article. Comment!!

- Botts

Editor's hijacking -- EVERYONE WISH AARON A HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN THE COMMENTS! Can you believe I made him write an article on his bday? How rude!