I brought this on myself. I don’t know what is going to happen but I know that I brought this on myself. My sources are telling me that frequent column-target Machine Gun Kelly was spotted in Louisville over the weekend. He had no reason to be there. His next show was scheduled for Detroit the next night. There’s only one explanation for this: he’s coming for me like some kind of pop-punk-poseur-turned-It-Follows-monster. I must atone for my jokes (which are really more pithy observations than anything, yeah)? I probably don’t have much time left. Sleeping would be a mistake. I hear a knocking at my door.
Anyway, it’s time for the Friday Roundup of News and Thoughts and Such, I guess.
1. Adele plays first show in 5 years:
This comes on the heels of the cancelation of a Las Vegas residency, a decision that the singer said left her a “shell” of herself. The two night performance in Hyde Park has received rave reviews.
2. Day N Vegas canceled:
Due to “a combination of logistics, timing, and production issues” the festival, slotted for September 2-4, was canceled by its organizers. The primary buzz surrounding the festival was that it was intended to mark Travis Scott’s return to a festival stage following last year’s AstroWorld tragedy. Scott himself was in the news this week after pausing a show to tell fans to stop climbing a stage truss. It seems likely to me that we’re going to see a lot of stories like this in the future but it’s better than the alternative.
3. Taylor Swift stalker arrested:
A New York man apparently entered two residences linked to Swift since March. On the first occasion, he apparently commandeered an intercom system to claim that Swift was being held prisoner and that he intended to “set her free.” During his initial court appearance, he referred to the proceedings as “the worst miscarriage of justice since the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.”
4. Fugees kind of reunite
Ms. Lauryn Hill joined Wyclef Jean onstage at the Essence Festival to play several Fugees songs. This marks the pair’s first performances together since a string of pop-up shows late last year that were intended to drum up hype for a full 2022 reunion tour that was ultimately canceled. Does this mean the tour is back on? Idk, maybe? Why would you ask me that? I’m just a guy who pulls stories from news aggregators.
5. Travis Barker doing well:
Travis Barker was spotted back in the studio following his emergency hospitalization from “life-threatening” pancreatitis last week. He took to Instagram to explain the circumstances which led to his hospitalization and has assured fans that he is doing “much better.”
6. Carlos Santana collapses from “heat exhaustion” during set:
The 74-year-old passed out on stage at around 10:00pm local time during a show in Michigan. He regained consciousness sometime prior to being carried off stage on a stretcher, as he waved to the crowd. The show, obviously, did not continue and will be rescheduled for a future date. At the time of writing, Santana is said to be recovering well, posting on his Facebook page, “Just taking it easy. Forgot to eat and drink water so I dehydrated and passed out.”.
7. Oh Jesus Christ, Macy Gray and Bette Midler:
Both have now joined JK Rowling in the “say super transphobic things and then shout to the heavens that you are not transphobic” camp. You hate to see it.
Let’s start with Bette Midler, who managed to pull off the double whammy of transphobia and hella racism in the span of about 24 hours, as she posted a nice rant about inclusive language and “erasure” of women, followed by a photoshop of the 6 conservative Supreme Court justices with beards, turbans, and a burka because the sins of the American Christian right need to be equated with Islam. Just wildly awful stuff.
On to Macy Gray, who for some reason, 1). Did an interview with Piers Morgan, which has never gone well for anyone; and 2). Let him start a spirited discussion on what it means to be a woman. What followed were comments that would warrant an entire article regarding the requisite “parts” to be considered a woman, which Gray simultaneously affirmed and contradicted in the ensuing backlash, saying that she was “misunderstood.” She went on to distinguish between being a female and being a woman, noting that being a woman is “something you have to earn” and is not in fact based on one’s “parts.” There’s more to unpack in this than I am qualified to unpack.
8. Crosby, Stills, & Nash are back on Spotify:
Way, way, way back in the earliest days of this column, Crosby, Stills, & Nash pulled their catalog from Spotify, standing in support with sometimes-bandmate Neil Young and Joni Mitchell, who had yanked their own music from the platform in protest of some ~takes~ espoused by Joe Rogan re: COVID-19 and vaccines.
This week, Crosby, Stills, & Nash made their return to the streamer, presumably disappointed that they had not started a mass exodus and figuring that they could at least earn those sweet Spotify pennies. As of this writing, Neil Young and Joni Mitchell remain sequestered away in the land of Apple Music and Tidal (lol), but if you like “Suite: Judy Blue Eyes” then today is your lucky day.
9. Eric Holder, Jr. convicted in Nipsey Hussle murder:
Holder was found guilty of First-Degree Murder in the 2019 shooting. No word yet as to sentencing.
10. “Texts Go Green” slides down 81 spots:
The song, described by me right now as being as interesting as a recording of Ben Stein describing paint drying, debuted at number 13 on the Billboard Hot 100 before dropping to number 94 this week, tying it with Kendrick Lamar’s “We Cry Together” for the biggest single week drop in history. I will now go into spin mode to justify my opinions. The Kendrick song is unpleasant to listen to in isolation (or in context, frankly) and likely alienated listeners looking for bangers, but it is still Important Art™️. The Drake song is best described as “droning” and “bad” and likely alienated listeners looking for bangers. I do, however, enjoy the concept of a song about being ignored which is promptly ignored by listeners.
11. [REDACTED] enters the automobile industry:
I said that I wasn’t gonna talk about this dude anymore but this is far enough removed from his recent atrocities that I am gonna make an allowance. So, to keep it short, there is a “DONDA FOAM VEHICLE.”
What’s channel.WAV listening to this week?
Slone: IDLES have consistently been putting out some of my favorite music over the last 5 years and should be loved by all. The very best music doesn’t only entertain you. It teaches you a lesson. And no lesson is more pressing than “Never Fight A Man With A Perm.” And yet, that’s not the IDLES track I’m spotlighting this week. Instead, enjoy “When the Lights Come On” from 2021’s CRAWLER.
Botts: If any HAIM sister wants to get coffee lmk in the comments below.
Theatrical banger of the week: “Gold” from the musical Once
This is my dream role in case you were wondering.
Ritter: Another vinyl highlight for me: Vinyl Me, Please just released the latest in their “Rising Artist” line. This installation, they featured Topaz Jones’ Don’t Go Tellin’ Your Momma, the debut album from an incredible young artist.
The pressing is spotless and clear, thankfully I snagged one up when I could. Topaz is the type of artist I wish Kendrick would sign to pgLang but beggars and all that.
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Folks, Minions: The Rise of Gru is now in theaters and Dane has some STRONG THOUGHTS, OPINIONS, AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN on the subject. He won’t stop talking about it and hasn’t been home from the theater in days. Leave a comment below to let him know that we want his full review (of the movie itself, not the totally banging soundtrack) and we want it NOW!
- Slone
Machine Gun Kelli spotted in Lexington?!?
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